Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
narrators used mime
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
funny humor saws
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda
death girlfriend one-day
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
funny humor clerks
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four."
funny art humor
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
funny humor average
Half the people you know are below average.
funny humor way
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
business yesterday saws
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.
funny humor remote-control
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
funny humor phones
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."
funny humor thinking
Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."
money fees fund
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
funny children humor
I was an only child, eventually.
funny humor house
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.