Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny song girlfriend
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring."
funny humor yesterday
Four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
funny humor water
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
funny humor wire
I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."
funny mistake humor
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
funny humor coats
I had my coat hangers spayed.
funny fall humor
The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
funny humor batteries
I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.
funny humor home
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "Right here, officer."
funny humor skydiving
I was skydiving horizontally.
funny humor fax-machines
I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".
funny father humor
My father was a small claims court jester.
funny humor resisting
I was once arrested for resisting arrest.
funny humor speed
The speed of time is one second per second.