Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
football school years
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, We want Youngman! We want Youngman! The coach says, Youngman - go see what they want!
school each-day mouths
A person asked me, How do you prepare for the stage? I told her, Well, it's like this. You go to diction school. They teach you to fill your mouth with marbles and talk right through the marbles. Each day you take one marble out. When you've lost all your marbles...
education teaching school
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
american-comedian
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
funny humor night
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
funny humor men
A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."
funny humor men
I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away.
funny humor men
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
funny girl war
During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.
funny humor italian
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
funny humor years
His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
funny humor kissing
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"
funny humor men
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
funny humor band
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"