Dylan Moran
Dylan Moran
Dylan William Moran is an Irish comedian, writer, actor and filmmaker. He is best known for his sardonic observational comedy, the UK television sitcom Black Booksand his work with Simon Pegg in Shaun of the Dead and Run Fatboy Run. He appeared as one of the two lead characters in the Irish black comedy titled A Film with Me in It in 2008...
NationalityIrish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1971
CityLondon, England
CountryIreland
I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target.
Go and lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move. I'm locking the door now
It's such a bullshit move. Transparently so. It's obviously supposed to give succor to people who feel pissed off because someone from another country got a job that they feel should've been given to them. But that's what people voted against here. They voted against the movement of labor - that kind of fluidity - because they want a Britain that no longer exists, and they can't get it.
People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move you eyes down to where you nipples used to be, put you breasts up on your head, EVERYBODY will pay attention!
Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! FRY HER!! FRY HER!"
I don't walk around knocking on doors and going to auditions and things generally. All the work I did was self-created.
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it.
People walk past me in the street and look at me, but because they think I work in their office and they can't remember my name.
Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today and there are other pressures.
Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'
You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, AND HE ARRIVES WITH A SANDWICH! ...And you think: "Yes! Yes! I control sandwich monkey! I live in magic land, magic land, magic land"
You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
Stand-up came naturally to me because people in Ireland talk. But that's not talking on panel shows; it is structured fun. It reminds me of some tragic aunt clapping her hands and bouncing into a room and announcing we should all play games... and if we don't we are all a rotten spoilsport.
When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'