Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funeral littles pay
Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave Charles Caleb Colton
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
aunt tears journalism
[On journalists:] They are the scavengers of society who, possessing no guts of their own, tear out the guts of celebrities. They have the sycophantic, false enthusing gush of maiden aunts: who are accustomed to being trampled on doormats. Caitlin Thomas
aunt opposites numbers
"Nought usually comes at the beginning," Ralph said. "Not necessarily," said Sibyl. "It might come anywhere. Nought isn't a number at all. It's the opposite of number." Nancy looked up from the cards. "Got you, aunt," she said. "What about ten? Nought's a number there - it's part of ten." "Well, if you say that any mathematical arrangement of one and nought really makes ten - " Sibyl smiled. "Can it possibly be more than a way of representing ten?" Charles Williams
aunt piano used
My aunt played the piano and I used to sit and listen to it. Dick Dale
aunt race car
Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious. Carlos Mencia
aunt eight years
When I was eight years old, or I may have been younger, my aunt picked me up and threw me in the pool and I didn't know how to swim. It was like, "Conquer your fear and just get on with it." It must have made an impact on me. Charisma Carpenter
aunt doors answers
Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door. Charles M. Schulz
aunt pay punctuation
My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie? Billy Wilder
aunt car court dad died family mother sent uncle
My mother died when I was 12, and right after, my dad died in a car crash. I was 15 and had no family. The court sent me to live with my uncle and aunt in Missouri. Karolyn Grimes
aunt family rod ruled
My Aunt Marsha ruled the family with a rod of iron. She was one wicked, mean woman.
hands feelings excess
The victims of ennui paralyze all the grosser feelings by excess, and torpify all the finer by disuse and inactivity. Disgusted with this world, and indifferent about another, they at last lay violent hands upon themselves, and assume no small credit for the sang froid with which they meet death. But, alas! such beings can scarcely be said to die, for they have never truly lived.
hands class two
Literature has her quacks no less than medicine, and they are divided into two classes; those who have erudition without genius, and those who have volubility without depth; we shall get second-hand sense from the one, and original nonsense from the other.
hands sorrow tears
If I dropped a tear upon your hand, may it wither it up! If I spoke a gentle word in your hearing, may it deafen you! If I touched you with my lips, may the touch be poison to you! A curse upon this roof that gave me shelter! Sorrow and shame upon your head! Ruin upon all belonging to you!
hands feet office
Skewered through and through with office-pens, and bound hand and foot with red tape.
hands library grew
I grew up on second hand bookshops and libraries. Charles Stross
hands soul half
I would rather lay my soul asoak in half a dozen verses [of the Bible] all day than rinse my hand in several chapters. Charles Spurgeon
hands despair rope
Faith has a saving connection with Christ. Christ is on the shore, so to speak, holding the rope, and as we lay hold of it with the hand of our confidence, He pulls us to shore; but all good works having no connection with Christ are drifted along down the gulf of fell despair.
hands soap calling
There’s no shame about any honest calling; don’t be afraid of soiling your hands, there’s plenty of soap to be had.
hands ignorant used
And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords Alan Watts