Dylan Moran
Dylan Moran
Dylan William Moran is an Irish comedian, writer, actor and filmmaker. He is best known for his sardonic observational comedy, the UK television sitcom Black Booksand his work with Simon Pegg in Shaun of the Dead and Run Fatboy Run. He appeared as one of the two lead characters in the Irish black comedy titled A Film with Me in It in 2008...
NationalityIrish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1971
CityLondon, England
CountryIreland
You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'
When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?
Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.'
What are children anyway? Midget drunks. They greet you in the morning by kneeing you in the face and talking gibberish. They can't even walk straight.
You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand.
When I was a child, I wanted to watch things that made me laugh. It's attacking boredom, as simple as that. I was 19 when I first went to a comedy club - I wanted to do it, so I gave it a try and that was it. I found my office.
Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach!" When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!
Some people have told me that I'm grumpy; it's not something that I'm aware of. It's not like I walk around poking children in the eye... not very small ones, anyway.
When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'
I don't walk around knocking on doors and going to auditions and things generally. All the work I did was self-created.
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it.
People walk past me in the street and look at me, but because they think I work in their office and they can't remember my name.
Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today and there are other pressures.