Famous Quotes & Sayings

Kurt Vonnegut

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

William Shakespeare

But it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in the most humorous sadness.

William Shakespeare

A college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humor. Dost thou think I care for a satire or an epigram?

Justin Verlander

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Bob Hope

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

Bob Hope

The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.

Bob Hope

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

Bob Hope

She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

Bob Hope

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Bob Hope

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

Bob Hope

The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.

Bob Hope

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.

Bob Hope

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

Bob Hope

Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.

Bob Hope

The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me.

Bob Hope

There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.

Bob Hope

English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.

Bob Hope

There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. "

Bob Hope

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

Bob Hope

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope

It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead.

Bob Hope

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

Bob Hope

Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...

Carl Jung

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.

Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.

Richard Lewis

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

Milos Forman

Humor was not important only for me, humor was important for this nation for centuries, to survive, you know.