Quotes about humor
humorous average looks
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. George Carlin
humorous airports care
They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.
humorous thinking ideas
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
humorous needs lawyer
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
humorous mean smoking
The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch.
humor faces
She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.
humorous civilization decline
When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.
humorous tired guilt
I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.
humorous mind honest
If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.
humorous people soldier
Professional soldiers are people who die for a living.
humorous challenges sides
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
humorous stupid-people catholic
Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason
humor fighting thinking
I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution.
humorous people homeless
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.
humorous terrorist murderer
Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."
humorous disease impossible
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
humorous giving selling
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
humorous numbers phones
[Answering the phone] Hello, this is a recording, you've dialed the right number, now hang up and don't do it again. Frank Sinatra
humor perfection generosity
Your generosity is more important than your perfection. Seth Godin
humor gossip disease
Gossip columnists are diseases, like 'flu. Everyone is subject to them. James Goldsmith
humor wish half
It is not in the power of every one to taste humor, however he may wish it; it is the gift of God! and a true feeler always brings half the entertainment along with him. Laurence Sterne
humor sense-of-humor good-sense-of-humor
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. Larry Gelbart
humor trying gross
We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross. Shawn Wayans
humor independent cry
Nature never said to me: Do not be poor; still less did she say: Be rich; her cry to me was always: Be independent. Nicolas Chamfort
humor deep-thought degenerates
Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket. Eric Hoffer
humorous men made
Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. Miguel de Cervantes
humorous
It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later. Franklin D. Roosevelt
humor two quality
The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.
humor way world
Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. Ludwig Wittgenstein
humor mean people
Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. So if it is correct to say that humor was stamped out in Nazi Germany, that does not mean that people were not in good spirits, or anything of that sort, but something much deeper and more important.
humor ideas laughing
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth. John Cleese
humorous creativity tunnels
We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode.
humor laughing able
We are able to laugh when we achieve detachment, if only for a moment. May Sarton