Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Dave Barry

The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe.

Dave Barry

One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.

Dave Barry

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship.

Dave Barry

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

Chris Colfer

I'm allergic to stupidity.

Bruce Coville

Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?

William Congreve

I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull.

Alan Alda

I was brought up as a Catholic, and I'm no longer a Catholic. I don't talk about my beliefs too much in public probably because I feel very strongly that it's something personal - more than personal, it's private.

Alan Alda

I used to be a Catholic. I left because I object to conversion by concussion. If you don't agree with what they teach, you get clobbered over the head until you do. All that does is change the shape of the head.

Arthur Peacocke

In the nineteenth century, many Anglican theologians, both evangelical and catholic, embraced positively the proposal of evolution.

Antony Gormley

I was educated by monks - I thank them dearly for the education they gave me, but I am no longer a Catholic.

Denis McDonough

I grew up in Stillwater, Minnesota in a proud Catholic family.

Denis Leary

I'm a lapsed Catholic in the best sense of the word.

Bill Maher

I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

Bernard of Clairvaux

Persecution shows who is a hireling, and who a true pastor.

Bernard of Clairvaux

Hell is full of good wishes or desires.