Quotes about funny
funny witty return
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. Will Rogers
funny witty humorous
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there
funny-inspirational funny-motivational worry
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
funny mean writing
You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.
funny common-sense common
Common sense ain't common.
funny country humor
I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.
funny humor cowboy
Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
funny mother father
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.
funny hurt humor
Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.
funny-things half whispering
In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud.
funny people faces
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
funny hilarious women
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
funny humor two
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
funny-relationship divorce way
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
funny sarcastic hurt
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
funny thinking aggravation
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
funny laughter food
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
funny way lawyer
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
funny humor government
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
funny california oklahoma
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
funny life inspiration
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
funny letting-go humorous
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
funny sarcastic horse
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
funny change humor
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
funny witty humorous
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
funny hilarious sarcastic
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
funny money two
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
funny witty humorous
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
funny leadership drinking
Always drink upstream from the herd.
funny-happy-birthday waiting-in-line getting-older
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
funny smile money
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
funny hilarious parenting
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
funny life wisdom
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.