Famous Quotes & Sayings

Steve Allen

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Stephen Crane

A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe. 'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.

Vanilla Ice

I don't know all the certain words to word it.

V. S. Pritchett

The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour varies its note, changes its key, grows and spreads and deepens until it may indeed reach tragic depths.

Tucker Max

The haters always scream the loudest.

Suzanne Collins

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

Stevie Wonder

Time is long but life is short.

Stevie Wonder

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

Steven Moffat

It's a funny thing about stories. It doesn't feel like you make them up, more like you find them. You type and type and you know you haven't got it yet, because somewhere out there, there's that perfect thing -- the unexpected ending that was always going to happen. That place you've always been heading for, but never expected to go.

Susan Hayward

My life is fair game for anybody. I spent an unhappy, penniless childhood in Brooklyn. I had to slug my way up in a town called Hollywood where people love to trample you to death. I don't relax because I don't know how. I don't want to know how. Life is too short to relax.

Steven Weinberg

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

Robby Krieger

I didn't plan on rock-n-roll. I wanted to learn jazz; I got to know some people doing rock-n-roll with jazz, and I thought I could make some money playing music.

Richard Simmons

One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've changed your life by saying, "Farewell to Fat".

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Redd Foxx

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Red Skelton

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Red Skelton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Red Skelton

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Raymond Carver

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.

T. S. Eliot

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

T. S. Eliot

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Sydney J. Harris

Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, 'Why not?' and the other, 'Why bother?'

Sydney J. Harris

When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny?

Sydney J. Harris

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

Sylvester Stallone

Boxing is a great exercise ... as long as you can yell "cut" whenever you want to.

Susan Sontag

Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a television show to reveal.

Susan Sontag

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

Ronnie Barker

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Ron Atkinson

Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms - movement and positioning.

Ron Atkinson

I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.

Ron Atkinson

I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way.

Truman Capote

It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California you lose one point of your IQ every year.

Triple H

I'm bi-lots of things but lingual isn't one of them. Wait, did I mean to say that?