Famous Quotes & Sayings

Rita Rudner

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Rita Rudner

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

Rita Rudner

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

Rita Rudner

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Rita Rudner

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Rita Mae Brown

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

Rita Mae Brown

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Richard Strauss

Its a funny thing Alice, dying is just the way I composed it in Tod und Verklärung.

Richard Thompson

I'm sure every pattern has been covered, but it's nice to think you might dwell on some that other people don't.

Thornton Wilder

Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder.

Thornton Wilder

Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

Thomas Nagel

What is it like to be a bat? What is it like for a bat to be a bat?

Thomas Paine

To establish any mode to abolish war, however advantageous it might be to Nations, would be to take from such Government the most lucrative of its branches.

Timothy Leary

LSD is a psychedelic drug which occasionally causes psychotic behavior in people who have NOT taken it.

Rupert Brooke

A book may be compared to your neighbor: if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.

Rupert Everett

Hmm... Death by mini bar, how glamorous.

Tom Petty

If you're not getting older, you're dead.

Tom Peters

I found myself declaiming, full flower, for an hour on the "utmost importance and urgency" of Blogging, telling him in no uncertain terms that, especially in a high-end niche business, Blogging is "the premier way" to have "intimate conversations" with his Clients. Funny thing, I believe it!

Tom Robbins

There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.

Tom Robbins

Rap music... sounds like somebody feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper.

Tom Robbins

Well, there's one thing to be said for money. It can make you rich.

Tom Robbins

Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard.

Tom Robbins

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

Tom Lehrer

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Tom Lehrer

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Tom Lehrer

Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.

Tom Lehrer

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Tom Lehrer

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Tom Arnold

My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

Steve Wozniak

I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap.