Famous Quotes & Sayings

Tommy Cooper

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

Tommy Chong

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.

Tom Stoppard

If you associate enough with older people who do enjoy their lives, who are not stored away in any golden ghettos, you will gain a sense of continuity and of the possibility for a full life.

Tom Stoppard

Eternity's a terrible thought. I mean, where's it all going to end?

Victoria Beckham

I have started smiling! I've mastered this smirk; it's a smile that isn't a smile.

Victor Hugo

Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old.

Victor Hugo

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Victor Hugo

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

Victor Borge

When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.

Victor Borge

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

Victor Borge

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Victor Borge

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Victor Borge

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Victor Borge

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Richard Bach

Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, pressured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices.

Robert Foster Bennett

There is a misleading, unwritten rule that states if a quote giving advice comes from someone famous, very old, or Greek, then it must be good advice.

Robert Fulghum

It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and our air force has to have a bake-sale to buy a bomber.

Robert Frost

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.

Robert Frost

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

Robert Frost

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

Robert Frost

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Robert Frost

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Robert Frost

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Bloch

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Robert Bloch

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Benchley

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Robert Benchley

One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.

Robert Benchley

Streets full of water. Please Advise.

Robert Benchley

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.

Robert Benchley

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.