Famous Quotes & Sayings

Fran Lebowitz

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Fran Lebowitz

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Fran Lebowitz

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Fran Lebowitz

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

George Orwell

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

George Orwell

I enjoy talking to you. Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind except that you happen to be insane.

George Mikes

They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.

George Mikes

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

George Mikes

A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club.

George Mikes

Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!' The Japanese know perfectly well they would have used it had they had it. They accept the idea that war is war; they give no quarter and accept none. Total war, they recognize, knows no Queensberry Rules. If you develop a devastating new weapon during a total war, you use it; you do not put it into the War Museum.

G. Gordon Liddy

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Friedrich Nietzsche

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

Friedrich Nietzsche

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

Friedrich Nietzsche

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

John Peers

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

John Paxson

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air.

Norman Douglas

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.

Norman Chad

If you wagered $5,000 on each of my winning NFL picks in 2012 and $500 ($550) on each of my losing picks, you'd be ahead $70,050. Wow.

Norman Chad

Nate Silver is now forecasting Oscar winners. The only area of life in which he has no expertise, ironically, is life itself.

Norman Chad

If one official signals Falcons ball and Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson signals Seahawks ball, is it a jump ball?

Norman Chad

Seahawks beat Cardinals, 58-0. If Patriots beat Texans, 58-0, it will be first time in NFL history there were two 58-0 games in same week.

Norm Crosby

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Norm MacDonald

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

Norm MacDonald

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!

Noel Coward

I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night to the theatre and know so little about it.

Noel Coward

Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.

Noel Coward

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?)