Famous Quotes & Sayings

Shaun White

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

Shahrukh Khan

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

Shahrukh Khan

If I talk to a girl, it's assumed that I'm having a scene with her. If I don't, then it's assumed that I'm gay.

Scott Wood

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

Stevie Wonder

Time is long but life is short.

Stevie Wonder

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

Steven Moffat

It's a funny thing about stories. It doesn't feel like you make them up, more like you find them. You type and type and you know you haven't got it yet, because somewhere out there, there's that perfect thing -- the unexpected ending that was always going to happen. That place you've always been heading for, but never expected to go.

Susan Hayward

My life is fair game for anybody. I spent an unhappy, penniless childhood in Brooklyn. I had to slug my way up in a town called Hollywood where people love to trample you to death. I don't relax because I don't know how. I don't want to know how. Life is too short to relax.

Steven Weinberg

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

Robby Krieger

I didn't plan on rock-n-roll. I wanted to learn jazz; I got to know some people doing rock-n-roll with jazz, and I thought I could make some money playing music.

Richard Simmons

One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've changed your life by saying, "Farewell to Fat".

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Redd Foxx

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Red Skelton

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Red Skelton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Red Skelton

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Raymond Carver

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.

T. S. Eliot

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

T. S. Eliot

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Sydney J. Harris

Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, 'Why not?' and the other, 'Why bother?'

Sydney J. Harris

When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny?

Sydney J. Harris

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

Sylvester Stallone

Boxing is a great exercise ... as long as you can yell "cut" whenever you want to.

Susan Sontag

Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a television show to reveal.

Susan Sontag

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

Scott Adams

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

Scott Adams

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.

Scott Adams

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.

Scott Adams

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't.

Scott Adams

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

Scott Adams

Crackpot is an excellent job because the expectations are so low. No one ever tells crackpots that they should be doing more.

Scott Adams

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

Scott Adams

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?