Quotes about funny
funny dance humor
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest! Chris Rock
funny humor pimp
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
funny stars halloween
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
funny fall humor
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!
funny humor shopping
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
funny rip humor
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie Murphy and now I'm a rip-off of Eddie Murphy.
funny humor america
So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America ... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back.
funny humor rocks
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
funny humor people
Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
funny humor white
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
funny uncles humor
If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.
funny women looks
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
funny hilarious laughter
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
funny humor winning
Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
funny stupid humor
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
funny daughter humor
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
funny humor boys
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
funny mean law
I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? "Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law.
funny smart humor
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
funny humor gay
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.
funny-things
I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny. Chris Messina
funny sexy sex
No sex is better than bad sex. Germaine Greer
funny father son
It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. Gertrude Stein
funny people want
I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.
funny humor writing
Don't write about what you don't know even if you don't know it.
funny travel numbers
The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'. Hal Roach
funny animal intelligent
Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day.
funny women humor
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Fran Lebowitz
funny-love best-love romantic-love
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.
funny suicide nature
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
funny food bread
Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.
funny money winning
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
funny sarcastic humor
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.