Famous Quotes & Sayings

Matt Groening

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Matt Groening

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Matt Groening

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.

Matt Groening

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

Matt Groening

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.

Matt Groening

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Mary Wortley Montagu

As marriage produces children, so children produce care and disputes; and wrangling.

Mark Hamill

I can't tell you how much we laughed on the set to have Alec Guinness in a scene with a big, furry dog that's flying a space ship.

Marion Nestle

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

Paul Rudd

I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records.

Michel de Montaigne

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.

Michel de Montaigne

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.

Michel de Montaigne

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

Mark Twain

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

Mark Twain

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Mark Twain

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Mark Twain

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Mario Batali

There's a battle between what the cook thinks is high art and what the customer just wants to eat.

Mae West

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

Freddie Mercury

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

Francois Rabelais

Bring down the curtain, the farce is over

Francois Rabelais

Keep running after a dog and he will never bite you.

George Canning

I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.

George C. Wallace

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?

Christina Aguilera

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Christina Aguilera

Right now I'm pretty single... My career is my boyfriend.

Christina Aguilera

So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

Christina Aguilera

I'm an ocean, because I'm really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures.

Chris Rock

The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.

Chris Rock

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!

Chris Rock

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies ... a man lie is, "I was at Kevin's house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"