Famous Quotes & Sayings

Tom Sizemore

It was dog food. Beef livers with onions in a can. You open it up and it looks like vomit.

Steven Spielberg

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

Steve McConnell

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

Steve McConnell

Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, "How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?" Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

Steve Nash

I'm not going to retire because I want the money. We want honest athletes, but at the same time, you're going to have people saying, 'He's so greedy. He's made X amount of money, and he has to take that last little bit.' Yes, I do have to take that last little bit. I'm sorry if that is frustrating to some, but if they were in my shoes, they would do exactly the same thing.

Steve Martin

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

Steve Martin

I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.

Steve Martin

The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.

Steve Martin

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.

Steve Martin

You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.

Steve Martin

If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

Steve Martin

Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.

Steve Martin

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

Steve Martin

I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...

Steve Martin

I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

Steve Martin

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.

Steve Martin

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.

Steve Martin

'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun.

Steve Martin

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

Steve Martin

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.

Steve Martin

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

Steve Martin

I used to smoke marijuana. But I’ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening – or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk.

Steve Martin

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Steve Martin

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Steve Martin

It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Steve Martin

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Steve Martin

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

Steve Martin

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Steve Martin

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Steve Martin

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

Steve Martin

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

Steve Martin

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.