Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robert Foster Bennett

There is a misleading, unwritten rule that states if a quote giving advice comes from someone famous, very old, or Greek, then it must be good advice.

Robert Fulghum

It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and our air force has to have a bake-sale to buy a bomber.

Robert Frost

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended.

Robert Frost

I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was about my hair coming out.

Vanilla Ice

I don't know all the certain words to word it.

V. S. Pritchett

The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour varies its note, changes its key, grows and spreads and deepens until it may indeed reach tragic depths.

Tucker Max

The haters always scream the loudest.

Suzanne Collins

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

Stephen Leacock

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Stephen King

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

Stephen King

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

Stephen King

A woman who would steal your love when your love was really all you had to give was not much of a woman.

Stanley Tucci

This is the funny thing about Skype. No one is really looking into the camera. People always looking down because they're looking at the image. You wish the camera was there in the center.

Solomon Schechter

You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.

Taylor Swift

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.

Stacey King

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

Richard Russo

People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny.

Richard Gere

Always walk towards open doors. And if they slam shut in your face, kick that sucker in and keep going.

Reba McEntire

It's funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown.

Robert Crumb

I guess I didn't enjoy drawing very much. It was like homework.

Robert De Niro

I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

Robert De Niro

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

Roald Dahl

Don't gobblefunk around with words.

Roald Dahl

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Richard Pryor

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

Richard Pryor

I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.

Richard Pryor

I ain't no movie star, man. I'm a booty star.

Richard Pryor

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.

Richard Pryor

I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren't coming after me!

Richard Lamm

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

Tucker Carlson

Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting.

Trey Parker

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central and because we're South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic we want.

Trey Parker

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, 'Well it's obvious that in order to get it to be 90 minutes they filled some time with music.'