Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Robin Williams

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Robin Williams

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Robin Williams

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Rob Thurman

Funny thing about faith ... it goes a lot faster than it comes.

Shahrukh Khan

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

Shahrukh Khan

If I talk to a girl, it's assumed that I'm having a scene with her. If I don't, then it's assumed that I'm gay.

Scott Wood

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

Stevie Wonder

Time is long but life is short.

Stevie Wonder

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

Steven Moffat

It's a funny thing about stories. It doesn't feel like you make them up, more like you find them. You type and type and you know you haven't got it yet, because somewhere out there, there's that perfect thing -- the unexpected ending that was always going to happen. That place you've always been heading for, but never expected to go.

Susan Hayward

My life is fair game for anybody. I spent an unhappy, penniless childhood in Brooklyn. I had to slug my way up in a town called Hollywood where people love to trample you to death. I don't relax because I don't know how. I don't want to know how. Life is too short to relax.

Steven Weinberg

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

Robby Krieger

I didn't plan on rock-n-roll. I wanted to learn jazz; I got to know some people doing rock-n-roll with jazz, and I thought I could make some money playing music.

Richard Simmons

One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've changed your life by saying, "Farewell to Fat".

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

Redd Foxx

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Red Skelton

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Red Skelton

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Red Skelton

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Raymond Carver

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.

T. S. Eliot

If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby 'it.'

T. S. Eliot

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Sydney J. Harris

Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, 'Why not?' and the other, 'Why bother?'

Sydney J. Harris

When a baseball player makes an error, it goes into the record and is published. How many of us could stand this sort of daily scrutiny?

Sydney J. Harris

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

Sylvester Stallone

Boxing is a great exercise ... as long as you can yell "cut" whenever you want to.

Robert Frost

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.

Robert Frost

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Robert Frost

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.