Famous Quotes & Sayings

Lord Byron

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff- box from an emperor.

John Ciardi

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

John Cleese

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

John Cleese

years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

John Cleese

A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.

John Cleese

Yes it's her husband. She hasn't got over it. Died thirty years ago.

John Cleese

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies

John Cleese

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.

John Cleese

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

John Cleese

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

John Cleese

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

John Buchan

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.

John Buchan

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

John Barrymore

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

John Barrymore

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

John Barrymore

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

Louise Brown

Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls.

John Cena

Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy, that's great.

John Cena

Heath Slater, or the chick from Wendy's

John Archibald Wheeler

Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.

Al Franken

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

Christopher Gorham

You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part.

We see a lot of these submissions being funny. We hope people are going to share these laughs together and why wouldn't you want to have a joke in your pocket?

Mike Birbiglia

You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that.

Psy

That's why 'Gangnam Style' works. If someone handsome uses that phrase it's just awkward. But if someone like me uses it, it's funny.

PewDiePie

I make funny videos of me playing video games, and I share those moments.

Maisie Williams

I haven't done Vine in a long time, and when I first started, I just did stuff that I thought was funny.

George Segal

The lyrics are quite solid and informative, as well as witty, sharp and funny. That's what makes it work.

Bill Cosby

I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.

I told Dena, when you have funny thoughts, you need to talk to somebody and stay on your meds.

Mira Nair

It's an extraordinarily funny and wonderful screenplay. It makes you laugh from the first page.

It'll be pretty funny if that happens. The guys are just happy to see some sunshine and get some games in.

Jose Cruz

It just started tightening up after the first inning and it was just getting really, really funny. ... It was a different type of pain, ... They tested it here, it's not anything that's gonna keep me out for a week or anything.