Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. Charles Dickens
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions. Charles Dickens
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. Charles Dickens
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! Charles Dickens
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. Charles Dickens
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. Charles Caleb Colton
golf wanted realised
I always wanted to be a golfer, only I realised that if I'd played golf I would have been skint. Alan Hansen
golf swings perfect
Is there such a thing as a technically perfect swing? If there is, I have yet to see it. David Leadbetter
golf swings goal
Your final goal is to convert your athletic swing to pure instinct rather than conscious thought. David Leadbetter
golf looks terrible
I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else. Dave Barry
golf balls want
You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing. Dave Barry
golf self expression
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf. Dave Barry
golf hitting balls
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. Dave Barry
golf talking interesting
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart. Dave Barry
golf balls swamps
Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it. Buddy Hackett
turtles car used
I've been looking at used car bargains. I'll frankly confess I'm scared to death of Fords. I've seen and heard of so many turning turtle. Bess Truman
turtles machines world
Warren is one of the best learning machines on this earth. The turtles who outrun the hares are learning machines. If you stop learning in this world, the world rushes right by you. Charlie Munger
turtles world walks
Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. Bruce Feiler
turtles sticker knows
I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why. Demetri Martin
turtles clubs enough
Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle! Dana Carvey
turtles bud doe
But we are mostly what we are, and the turtle stretching toward delicious buds on high does not lighten his carapace by his resolve. Arthur Miller
turtles house gone
I am now a turtle. Virtually everything I own is on my back and suffice it to say I am one ton lighter and therefore 2,000 pounds happier. All houses are gone. Bobby Darin
turtles sharks sea
Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no sea turtle would be yattering streams of obscenities between chain-smoker gasps of breath. Christopher Moore
turtles attachment long
A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle. Ambrose Bierce