Famous Quotes & Sayings

Michael Jackson

I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed. And I embarass easily.

Michael Jackson

Beer may cause you to digress - and lead a happier life.

Michel de Montaigne

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.

Michel de Montaigne

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.

Michel de Montaigne

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

Mark Twain

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

Mark Twain

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Mark Twain

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Mark Twain

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Marilyn Monroe

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

Maria Bamford

I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

Maria Bamford

I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

War is a poor chisel to carve out tomorrow.

Mark Wahlberg

I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want.

Mark Knopfler

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.

Mark Hoppus

Thats not a place where I'm considered good-looking.

Mickey Mantle

You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

Nathan Myhrvold

Software sucks because users demand it to.

Naguib Mahfouz

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.

Miriam Makeba

I have to go and say farewell to all the countries that I have been to, if I can. I am 73 now, it is taxing on me.

R. D. Laing

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Publilius Syrus

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

Pierre Salinger

A funny thing happened on the way to the election - I got to the Senate first.

Kristen Schaal

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.'

Kristen Schaal

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want...

Kristen Schaal

Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.

Kristen Schaal

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Kristen Schaal

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

Kristen Schaal

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.

Kristen Schaal

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater...