Quotes about funny
funny average usa
The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board. Dennis Miller
funny quilts humor
The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.
funny humor redneck
Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
funny witty chess
I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
funny-things comedian comic
A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny. Ed Wynn
funny baseball wife
I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife. Earl Weaver
funny sports nba
Sport is the only profession I know of that when you retire you have to go to work. Earl Monroe
funny-inspirational honest-woman honest
Funny women are honest women. Elizabeth Meriwether
funny-inspirational trying red
Not since I was 10, trying to get Nick Vossler's attention in PE. 'Red Rover, Red Rover, send Nicholas right over!' Elizabeth Olsen
funny beauty nature
The difference between utility and utility plus beauty is the difference between telephone wires and the spider web. Edwin Way Teale
funny humor doe
Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. Bill Nye
funny nuts insanity
I'm a nut, but not just a nut. Bill Murray
funny-good-morning cheesy gone
What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? Bertolt Brecht
funny-money robbing founding
What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?
funny mother children
There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age. Benjamin Spock
funny happiness past
To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life slowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future. Bertrand Russell
funny family dad
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
funny humor men
The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible. Bernard Baruch
funny pain philosophy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. Carol Leifer
funny men humans
It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.
funny waiting almost-done
Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done. Carl Friedrich Gauss
funny patience humor
Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. Agnes Repplier
funny women humor
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.
funny sarcastic war
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban
funny marriage witty
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens? Alan King
funny-inspirational integrity technology
Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves. Alan Kay
funny girl humor
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin
funny jesus humorous
I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.
funny friendship humor
To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.
funny good-morning laughter
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
funny life courage
Life can be wonderful if you're not afraid of it. All it takes is courage, imagination ... and a little dough
funny science weather
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Charles Dudley Warner
funny artist canvas
A great artist can paint a great picture on a small canvas.