Famous Quotes & Sayings

Samuel Butler

Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life.

Samuel Butler

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Samuel Butler

An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books.

Samuel Butler

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.

Samuel Butler

A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.

Eric Roberts

Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with.

Freddie Prinze

But the only comparison that I want to Lenny Bruce is that I'm funny. I'm Freddie Prinze, Puerto Rican all the way.

Fred Tomaselli

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

Luke Benward

I really like 'Passion of the Christ.' I like that movie. I also like 'We Were Soldiers,' and 'Braveheart.' And 'Napoleon Dynamite' - that movie was funny.

Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

Larry Dixon

I never thought I'd live this long. It sounds funny because I still think of myself as a kid.

Jerry Seinfeld

I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Albert Einstein

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

Albert Einstein

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

Albert Einstein

Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.

Albert Einstein

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.

Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

Alex Ferguson

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out.

Alex Ferguson

When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure.

Aldo Leopold

The first law of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts

Aldous Huxley

Happiness is like coke — something you get as a by-product in the process of making something else.

Aldous Huxley

What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Aldous Huxley

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.

Albert Einstein

The equation for ego is: One over Knowledge.

Colin Mochrie

We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.