Famous Quotes & Sayings

Gloria Estefan

Stevie Wonder always smells so good... I'm like a DEA dog, I can smell people a block away!

Gertrude Stein

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

Gertrude Stein

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop

Gerald R. Ford

Ronald Regan doesn't dye his hair - he's just prematurely orange.

Gerald R. Ford

Obviously, it's a great privilege and pleasure to be here at the Yale Law School Sesquicentennial Convocation. And I defy anyone to say that and chew gum at the same time.

Jim Jefferies

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

Jim Denny

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck.

Jim Davidson

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.

Jim Davis

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

Jim Davis

When all else fails, look cute.

Jim Davis

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.

Jim Davis

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Jessamyn West

A good time for laughing is when you can.

Comedy is the slave of time. What seemed funny then is unlikely to seem funny now, just as what strikes us as funny now would not have seemed funny then.

Carrie: I just love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes. It's so romantic!Stanford: You only like it because she sleeps for a hundred years and doesn't age.

Casey Wilson

If Damon Wayans is not breaking, it's a miracle. He is so funny that he makes everyone die laughing.

Hunter S. Thompson

As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.

Hunter S. Thompson

Ignore that nightmare in the bathroom. Just another ugly refugee from the Love Generation, some doom-struck gimp who couldn't handle the pressure. My attorney has never been able to accept the notion - often espoused by reformed drug abusers and especially popular among those on probation - that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. And neither have I, for that matter.

Hunter S. Thompson

Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it.

Hunter S. Thompson

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Hunter S. Thompson

You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.

Hunter S. Thompson

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

Honore de Balzac

Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.

Honore de Balzac

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

Honore de Balzac

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

Honore de Balzac

When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.

Honore de Balzac

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Honore de Balzac

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.

Ice Cube

It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'

Ice Cube

Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

Dave Tippett

He puts the work in. It's funny how smart players find a way to get smarter. That's what he does.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune.

Horace Walpole

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.