Famous Quotes & Sayings

Henry David Thoreau

Even Nature is observed to have her playful moods or aspects, of which man sometimes seems to be the sport.

Henry David Thoreau

When I consider that the noble animals have been exterminated here - the cougar, panther, lynx, wolverine, wolf, bear, moose, deer, the beaver, the turkey, etc, etc - I cannot but feel as I lived in a tamed, and, as it were, emasculated country.

Henry David Thoreau

I do not know how to distinguish between waking life and a dream. Are we not always living the life that we imagine we are?

Henry David Thoreau

The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.

Henry David Thoreau

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.

Henry David Thoreau

Economy is a subject which admits of being treated with levity, but it cannot so be disposed of.

Henry David Thoreau

Humor, however broad and genial, takes a narrower view than enthusiasm.

H. L. Hunt

If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the beginning of the day.

Gypsy Rose Lee

The dog is dressed just like me at the climax of my act.

H. L. Mencken

Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.

H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

H. L. Mencken

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

H. L. Mencken

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

H. L. Mencken

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.

H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

H. L. Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.

Jerry Garcia

If you assume you haven't learned anything yet, there's no reason your playing can't stay dynamic all your life.

Jeff Valdez

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Goldblum

I travel for work, but recently, friends said I should take major trips.

Jean Rostand

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.

Jean Rostand

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

Jean Rostand

Kill one man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill them all, and you are a god.

Jerry Seinfeld

Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of love, the woman he's with is like an exit, but he doesn't want to get off there. He wants to keep driving. And the woman is like, "Look, gas, food, lodging, that's our exit, that's everything we need to be happy... Get off here, now!" But the man is focusing on the sign underneath that says, "Next exit 27 miles," and he thinks, "I can make it."

Jerry Seinfeld

The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"

Jerry Seinfeld

Some of the events in the Olympics don't make sense to me. I don't understand the connection to any reality... Like in the Winter Olympics they have that biathlon that combines cross-country skiing with shooting a gun. How many alpine snipers are into this? Ski, shoot a gun... ski, bang, bang, bang... It's like combining swimming and strangling a guy. Why don't we have that? That makes absolutely as much sense to me. Just put people in the pool at the end of each lane for the swimmers.

Jerry Seinfeld

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Jerry Seinfeld

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here.

Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

Jerry Seinfeld

Why would anybody want a friend?

Jerry Seinfeld

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.