Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Heywood "Woody" Allenis an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, playwright and musician, whose career spans more than six decades...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionDirector
Date of Birth1 December 1935
CityBronx, NY
CountryUnited States of America
american-director funny life seventy showing success
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
funny
I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes
funny believe afterlife
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.
funny death humor
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
funny death lying
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
funny thinking choices
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
funny humor world
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
funny mean drug
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
funny doors water-skiing
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
funny british knows
I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.
funny nba cities
Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
funny-inspirational class strikes
My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
funny food humor
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
funny crazy humor
... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!