Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Heywood "Woody" Allenis an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, playwright and musician, whose career spans more than six decades...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionDirector
Date of Birth1 December 1935
CityBronx, NY
CountryUnited States of America
ideas stories comedy
I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
thinking drunk littles
I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
inspirational funny life
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
funny desire return
I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
kids writing ideas
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.
funny thinking two
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
littles boring eternity
Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
beautiful sex believe
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.
running morning writing
People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
afterlife able twenties
I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
nice would-be impossible
Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
inspirational positive inspiring
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
new-york thinking cities
I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
links masturbation entry
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!