Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Heywood "Woody" Allenis an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, playwright and musician, whose career spans more than six decades...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionDirector
Date of Birth1 December 1935
CityBronx, NY
CountryUnited States of America
funny life thankful
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
witty art jobs
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
witty self-esteem humorous
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
writing expression want
I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
men car funeral
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
mean writing reality
Writing is great because you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing. When I write the film is always a masterpiece at that point. I write and I make up things and budgets don't mean anything and it's great.
witty brother crazy
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
anniversary sex cigarette-smoke
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
two
I am two with nature.
philosophy laughing missing
You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
people no-money willing
Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
funny death suicide
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
lonely children pain
You can't work at a relationship; you can't control it. You have to be lucky and go through your life. If you are not lucky you have to be prepared for some degree of suffering. That's why most relationships are very difficult and have some degree of pain. People stay together because of inertia, they don't have the energy. Because they are frightened of being lonely, or they have children.
funny witty money
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.