Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny suicide humor
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."
funny death suicide
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
funny death suicide
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
funny suicide writing
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start...
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
best defensive game
I think that was our best defensive game of the year.
ahead
I was just getting too ahead of myself. I was rushing.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.