Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
depression nice scare
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
inferiority very-good inferiority-complex
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
self boss gas-stations
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
animal plant
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
funny success clever
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
firsts killing first-time
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
funny humor microwaves
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
mind madness lost
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
funny humor people
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
funny memories humor
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
reading writing gears
It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.
funny travel memories
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
doctors
The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.
unique remember
always remember your unique, just like everone else