Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
stars lying night
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?
fun work distance
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
dog paranoid not-sure
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
mirrors house tape
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
running believe belief
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"
funny happy-birthday friends
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
funny life reading
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
lost
I just lost a buttonhole.
keys car break-out
I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
funny humor eyeglasses
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
funny humor thinking
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
depression sarcastic anger
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
kids perception taught
The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.
funny humor people
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.