Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
mother sleep night
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
dream night world
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.
funny humor night
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
dream night would-be
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
tired night trying
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
funny humor night
It's a fine night to have an evening.
moving night thinking
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
night light looks
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ...
funny humor night
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
night gambling people
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
funny humor night
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
funny humor night
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?
funny humor night
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
funny humor night
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.