Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
birthday moving tired
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
funny birthday humor
How young can you die of old age?
birthday aunt years
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
funny humor 50th-birthday
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
funny birthday hilarious
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
funny happy-birthday friends
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
funny birthday humor
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.