Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny procrastination humor
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
changed i-havent-changed havens
I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11.
vegetables vegan-food vegetarian
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat
funny humor 50th-birthday
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
night gambling people
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
tree forests fronts
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it.
funny humor long
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
funny humor beard
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
funny husband humor
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
funny humor light
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
inspirational funny life
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
dog pet gone
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
funny humor gun
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
funny children humor
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.