Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor dropping-acid
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
men feet shoes
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?
funny death suicide
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
helping traffic expanding
They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.
sarcastic cat sarcasm
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
mistake listening
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
death fun science
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
funny summer humor
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
funny death suicide
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
funny humor power
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
hours faster officers
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
funny humor towels
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
funny witty time
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
funny cute time
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.