Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
wish lasts firsts
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
funny humor agents
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
funny humor yesterday
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"
guy circus laid-back
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
funny humor dropping-acid
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
men feet shoes
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?
funny death suicide
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
helping traffic expanding
They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.
sarcastic cat sarcasm
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
mistake listening
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
death fun science
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
funny summer humor
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
funny death suicide
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
funny humor power
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.