Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
flight non-stop
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
west internet wild-west
It's like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.
morning stuff stolen
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".
thinking comedy express-yourself
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
years people comedian
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
funny humor two
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
funny travel memories
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
funny humor writing
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
reading speed bookmarks
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
funny life baby
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
funny time humor
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
funny science theory-of-evolution
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
funny humor years
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
funny nice humor
What a nice night for an evening.