Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
tired
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
funny humor building
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
funny work humor
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
funny humor school
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.
funny humor names
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
good-morning girlfriend mistake
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
men gambling las-vegas
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
funny humor tickets
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
funny humor way
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
funny humor phones
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<
funny dog moving
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
funny nature humor
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
funny beautiful humor
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"
funny humor giving
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.