Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny life peace
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
humor territory lost
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
imagine
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
thinking old-testament should
You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.
language sometimes subconscious
Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
laughing sense-of-humor cattle
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
wings people forget
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over...
funny confused humor
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
humor metaphor simile
A metaphor is like a simile.
space showing-up three
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
secret young staying-young
My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.
funny humor car
I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.
summer people maps
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
funny humor littles
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?