Stephen Wright
Stephen Wright
life takes time
Boy, life takes a long time to live
museum paintings time work
One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.
hear maybe music radio song time wrote
I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that.
almost catch fall far instant last rocking time
Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far that you almost fall over backwards, but at the last instant you catch yourself? That's how I feel all the time
consumers electricity encourage policies recognize
We need to encourage policies that recognize that being a little long in electricity is much better for consumers than being a little short,
alphabet guy song wrote
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.
either outfit weak
Either outfit is going to have a pretty weak coalition.
funny satellite smile
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
hear noise subway toy train
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
asked friend great invented
My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, "Well, first I... I just... well, to make a long story short...
asleep dreams fell home late night satellite showing walked
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.
asked bath came dry food guy health melt store worked
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
behind funny morning
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
evening fire fireplace front laid microwave night
I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.