Stephen Wright
Stephen Wright
asked bath came dry food guy health melt store worked
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
behind funny morning
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!
hear noise subway toy train
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
asked friend great invented
My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, "Well, first I... I just... well, to make a long story short...
asleep dreams fell home late night satellite showing walked
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.
museum paintings time work
One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.
apartment exact replaced robbed
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?
amnesia deja forgotten
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I may have forgotten this before.
evening fire fireplace front laid microwave night
I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
apartment call france switch turn woman
I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!
asleep falls foot gonna hate means
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.
basically escaped few led negative sentiment stocks
Negative sentiment has basically led to across-the-board declines, very few stocks have escaped unscathed.
guy near pizza sells triangle
There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
expect holiday
It's just what you'd expect for the holiday period.