Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
mind tricks highways
It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.
girl school done
Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.
opera hey yogurt
Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?
mysterious-ways welfare way
God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.
funny moon space
They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space.
long saying-yes cynicism
Cynics always say no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.
devil way conservative
'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.
humor laughing comedy
Not living in fear is a great gift, because certainly these days we do it so much. And do you know what I like about comedy? You can't laugh and be afraid at the same time - of anything. If you're laughing, I defy you to be afraid.
facts fans doe
I'm not a fan of the facts. Facts change; my opinion never does.
truth areas
Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.
hurt optimistic self
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.
believe native-american government
A native American group has filed a class-action lawsuit against the government for mismanagement of oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties since 1887. They're seeking $100 billion. Here's the good news: The government has responded what I believe is an appropriate counteroffer: A two-cent Navajo stamp.
desire looks idiot
We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.
want tape opinion
Opinions are like demo tapes. I don't want to hear yours