Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
government surveillance doing-nothing
If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding.
milk yogurt tomorrow
Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
surveillance-state people credit
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.
thinking should-have people
I'd forgotten what an honest sandwich it is. For those of you not familiar, 'BLT' stands for 'bacon, lettuce, and tomato.' A lot of people think the 'B' stands for 'bread,' and I can understand someone not wanting a lettuce and tomato sandwich. But, the bread is implied in the word 'sandwich.' Anyway, it's an American original. Everyone should have a BLT as soon as they can.
atheism dedicated superiority
Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.
office soul president
After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!
children people telling-the-truth
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
taffy stretching delicious
There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.
four hours symptoms
After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.
beautiful children eye
In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.
mind tricks highways
It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.
girl school done
Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.
opera hey yogurt
Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?
mysterious-ways welfare way
God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.