Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
believe native-american government
A native American group has filed a class-action lawsuit against the government for mismanagement of oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties since 1887. They're seeking $100 billion. Here's the good news: The government has responded what I believe is an appropriate counteroffer: A two-cent Navajo stamp.
desire looks idiot
We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.
want tape opinion
Opinions are like demo tapes. I don't want to hear yours
gay men gun
There once was a man name Barack, Whose re-election came as a shock. He raised the taxes I pay, And then turned marriage gay. And now he's coming after your glock.
talking want not-talking
We're not talking about truth, we're talking about something that seems like truth - the truth we want to exist.
funny gay hell
There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.
stars believe reality
I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman, whose experience as a failed vice presidential candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.
change matter facts
I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
ifs
And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.
funny business errors
Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error of plus or minus the facts.
hilarious believe iraq
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
facts needs ifs
You don't need the right facts if you have the right inflection.
people stupidity may
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
running army brave-new-world
Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!