Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
wise hurt optimistic
Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.
graduation ideas people
You are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say 'yes.' And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say 'yes' back.
believe color white
Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
sex internet offers
I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?
mistake gun lovers
Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.
country fate thinking
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
dog agendas gluten
The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.
scotch next slippery-slope
Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a slippery slope. Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting.
gun ifs pens
The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun
taken president important
Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.
funny-valentines-day today should
Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
winning presidential singers
The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.
drinking gay way
Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.
men rights people
The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights.