Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
laughter medicine antibiotics
I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.
thirty tolerate amount
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.
kids night doctors
I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to.
thinking feelings pieces
You can't swallow and think about your tongue. If you think about your tongue, you've got a giant piece of meat in your mouth and that's a terrible feeling.
life jobs epic
Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done. Except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.
party drug firsts
Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.
ohio two people
Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?" - Stephen Colbert to Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones, "The Colbert Report," November 3, 2005
one-day president might
One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.
jesus mind killers
To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.
want argument hopefully
You don't want to just do a joke because it works - we can make a lot of jokes work - you want to do a joke because it will hopefully build into an argument.
atheist balls agnostic
Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?
school home where-you-are
it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.
war oil
Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.
atheist balls
Agnostics are just atheists without balls.