Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Good weather all the week, but come the weekend the weather stinks. When the weather is too hot they complain, too cold they complain, and when it's just right, they're watching TV.