Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?
Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.
The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.