Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
inspirational ghetto littles
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
sister-in-law stripes dresses
My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.
men laughing way
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
inspirational night central-park
I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.
men clothes doctors
I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say, 'Take off your clothes'?
compliments-you shoes barefoot
You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.
ruins looks moonlight
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
dinner taste tvs
I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.
inspirational beach tides
When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.
believe book bed
I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.
wanted
I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
children writing dust
... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.
beautiful girl friday
When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not include securing the groom. Plan to get married on Friday the 13th. In years to come this will make it much easier to explain why things turned out badly. To look beautiful at your wedding, take time to plan it. It took me a long time to find two ugly bridesmaids and a frumpy little flower girl.
inspirational dog hate
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.