Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
baby children kids
We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
bad-breath breaths ifs
... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.
spring kids parent
Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.
thanksgiving turkeys stuff
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
beauty use emergencies
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.
three comedy argument
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
inspirational beauty skins
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
inspirational rooms
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
anger frustration kitchen
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
inspirational justice looks
My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
doors house enemy
If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'
drinking fall alcohol
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
running children women
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
years behinds eighteen
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.