Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
child mother worried
Your child is never not your child. You can be 90 and your mother 120, but your mother is still worried about you.
daughter mother littles
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
mother husband men
My mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.
memories parenting motherhood
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
cousin parenting motherhood
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.
mother daughter down-and
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
parenting motherhood eggs
Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.
mother years eggs
A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.
girl mother lasts
I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway."
mother sex pain
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off. It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom. My best birth control now is to leave the lights on.
baby parenting motherhood
And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.
mother humor flying
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
mother apology people
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
parenting motherhood thank-god
Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.